a grammar tangent (was Re: HTML, etc,)

[Robin Leech]

This list, or others very close to it in content, have been around for
years.  I do not believe that there are any copyrights attached.  I will
provide you with a similar list (in another response)  that I have been
handing out to my students for at least 15 years.
Robin Leech
-----Original Message-----
From: Michael Schmitt <m.schmitt at UNI-BONN.DE>
To: Multiple recipients of list TAXACOM <TAXACOM at CMSA.BERKELEY.EDU>
Date: Thursday, March 25, 1999 2:56 AM
Subject: Re: a grammar tangent (was Re: HTML, etc,)


Dear Taxacomers,

Doug Yanega's recent psoting on >THE most common new English grammatical
error< makes me hope that somebody can enlighten me as to the origin of a
(very helpful) 'guide to contributors' that made its way to me through a
colleague who vaguely recalls to have it from an issue of PENTHOUSE (whic=
h
is hard to accept to me). This 'guide' reads as follows:

             GUIDE FOR CONTRIBUTORS               =B3
   =B3                                                   =B3
   =B3  - Subject and verb always has to agree.          =B3
   =B3  - When dangling, watch your participles.         =B3
   =B3  - Do not use a foreign term when there is an     =B3
   =B3     adequate English quid pro quo.                =B3
   =B3  - If you must use a foreign term, it is de rigor =B3
   =B3     to spell it correctly.                        =B3
   =B3  - It behooves a modern writer to avoid archaic   =B3
   =B3     terms.                                        =B3
   =B3  - Do not hyperbole; not one writer in a million  =B3
   =B3     can use it effectively.                       =B3
   =B3  - Avoid clich=82s like the plague.                 =B3
   =B3  - Mixed metaphors are a pain in the ass and      =B3
   =B3     should be thrown out of the window.           =B3
   =B3  - Placing a comma between subject and predicate, =B3
   =B3     is not correct.                               =B3
   =B3  - Parenthetical words however should be enclosed =B3
   =B3     in commas.                                    =B3
   =B3  - Consult the dictionary frequently to avoid     =B3
   =B3     mispeling.                                    =B3
   =B3  - Don't use tautological, repetitive, or         =B3
   =B3     redundant words or statements.                =B3
   =B3  - Don't use tautological, repetitive, or         =B3
   =B3     redundant words or statements.                =B3
   =B3  - Remember to never split an infinitive.         =B3
   =B3  - Puns are for children - not for readers who    =B3
   =B3     are groan.                                    =B3
   =B3  - The passive voice should not be used.          =B3
   =B3  - Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and    =B3
   =B3     omit it when its not needed.                  =B3
   =B3  - Don't use no double negatives.                 =B3
   =B3  - Proofread carefully to see if you have any     =B3
   =B3     words out.                                    =B3
   =B3  - Hopefully you will use words correctly,        =B3
   =B3     irregardless of how others use them.          =B3
   =B3  - Never use a long word where a diminutive one   =B3
   =B3     will do.                                      =B3
   =B3  - Avoid colloquial stuff.                        =B3
   =B3  - No sentence fragments.                         =B3
   =B3  - Remember to finish what you


I find this 'guide' not only amusing but also useful, especially to
non-native English speakers (and writers) who want to avoid >common new
English grammatical errors<.

Since I would like to cite this 'guide' in a paper, I would be grateful f=
or
indicating me the source of it. Any hint will be welcome.

                          Greetings
                           Michael




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