For God's sake...

[Alexandre Pires Aguiar]

Dear Taxacomers,

You are probably familiar with the following, based on a column in Ann Landers:

Top ten reasons why God never received tenure

1. He never got a Ph.D.
2. He had only one major publication.
3. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
4. Some doubt that he wrote it Himself.
5. Sure, he created the world, but what has he done since?
6. The scientific community can't replicate his results.
7. He rarely came to class and just tells students, "Read the book."
8. His office hours are irregular and sometimes held on a mountaintop.
9. He doesn't present at conferences.
10. He spent too much time teaching and not enough time doing research.


Ok. Now, as a mere exercise in contra-argumentation, here goes my...


Top ten reasons why He doesn't give a damn:

1. He's the boss.
2. His only publication is still the most influential in the field, with
millions of citations a year.
3. Sure He didn't write it Himself, but with 12 grad students, would you?
4. Everybody says "Amen" to His opinions.
5. Disagree with Him, and you may end up in hell.
6. He's well known for being a hard worker: six days a week nonstop; rests
on the 7th.
7. Nobody can beat His 4.5 billion years of field work and 3.5 billion years
of DNA expertise.
8. Most agree He was the first one to be awarded a Nobel prize. Nobel himself.
9. His research facilities are simply the best: Even well funded scientists
will admit they work in conditions which are "far from Heaven" when asked.
10. He doesn't depend on NSF money.

Sorry for the cross posting with entomo-l...

Alexandre Pires Aguiar
The Ohio State University
Museum of Biological Diversity
1315 Kinnear Road
Columbus OH 43212-1157
USA

Phone (613) 292-2750
FAX   (613) 292-7774

Please visit The Stephanidae Homepage at
http://iris.biosci.ohio-state.edu/projects/stephanids/