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[Rodham E. Tulloss]

THE MYCOLOGIST AND THE CHIGGER
                                        by Rod Tulloss

              (To be sung to the tune of "Poor Unfortunate Souls"
              from Walt Disney's LITTLE MERMAID)


In Mississippi there are leeches on the beaches,
And the bite of Jersey gnats should not be missed.
And every little chigger grows just a little bigger
After every bite of each mycologist.

The evolution of the chigger is a myst'ry.
Body fluids are the chigger's cup of tea.
A little pair of jaws is searching for you, Boss,
While you're searching for your fav'rite entity.

Still you crawl around their living space for mushrooms
And provide inviting samples of your skin,
And pray that Skin-so-Soft will really keep them off.
All I've got to ask is "Buddy, where you been?"

You have to be in love with the lamellae.
You have to have a passion for the pores.
Else you'd have better sense (You wouldn't be so dense.),
And you'd take up something lucrative indoors.


                        FINIS