<div dir="ltr"><div>All, <br></div><div>Please find below and attached Aurora Blanchard's review of Charles Holdefer novel, <i>Don't Look At  Me</i>.  If you like it, thank Scott Peterson for encouraging Aurora to submit it!</div><div>Duncan</div><div><br></div><div>




















<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">Holdefer, Charles<i>. <span> </span>Don’t Look At Me</i>. Montclair, NJ: Sagging
Meniscus Press, 2022.<span>  </span>284pp. ISBN
9781952386350<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif"><span> </span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">Charles Holdefer’s 2022 novel <i>Don’t
Look At Me</i> is a multi-genre coming-of-age story<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">that opens with one of Emily
Dickinson’s most erratic and honest poems: “I’m nobody! Who are<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">you?” which mirrors the struggle of
Holly Winegarten, the ex-athlete who must reconcile the life<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">she has lived with the new life she
must embrace. While working in the special archives section<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">of the university library, she
discovers romantic letters between Dickinson and an Irish<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">soldier—the same soldier who had
been paid to replace her brother in the American Civil War.<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">Verisimilitude is important in
sports literature, and Holdefer gets it right with the<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">basketball play-by-plays, the
graduate seminar stressors, and the relatable antics of a<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">dysfunctional family. Holdefer grew
up in the Midwest and captures the essence of the<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">Midwestern university that Holly
attends. His strength is authenticity and humor, knowing the<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">ins and outs of the culture. In
addition, an Irish soldier really did replace Emily Dickinson’s<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">brother in the American Civil War
(Zander). However, we don’t know in real life if a romance<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">ensued.<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif"><span> </span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">In 1991, Donald M. Murray published
an article titled, “All Writing is Autobiography”<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">where he claimed, “I have my own
peculiar way of looking at the world and my own way of<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">using language to communicate,” and
I don’t think Charles Holdefer could have written Don’t<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">Look At Me without his experience
in the Midwest. How else could he have nicknamed Holly’s<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">university “Grainball U?” How else
could he have captured the reverence of Holly’s father, a<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">stoic sports fan in the middle of
America? Holly’s father learned lessons from the baseball<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">players he followed and passed
those lessons down to Holly, which helped her when she was in a<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">pinch, trying to take a crack at
academia. The irony of something common like baseball helping<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">Holly with something “high-brow”
like academia is not lost on the reader. Holdefer expertly<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">crafts this scenario into the novel
with good plotting and characterization. As a result, the reader<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">realizes how inseparable sport is
from higher education, even when an athlete loses her<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">scholarship. Sport is society;
society is sport.<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif"><i>Don’t Look At Me</i> combines
many forms and genres in one sitting: historical fiction,<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">epistolary writing, poetry, sports
literature, and academic comedy. This book is similar to Jane<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">Smiley&#39;s Moo and Chad
Harbach’s The Art of Fielding because of the academic setting, but<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">Don’t Look at Me pushes the
boundaries of what is possible in the genre. The only time the<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">verisimilitude was threatened was
when the narrator employed old-fashioned words like “plump”<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">and “busty” to describe women.
These words felt dissonant in a novel centered on a young<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">female protagonist. However, the
reader might forgive this slip in voice when they read the scene<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">where Holly plays basketball in
high school and shoots the winning basket with an injury. A<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">poignant flashback illuminates
Holly’s grief in the scene where:<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">“the pain shot up her spine,
excruciating and for a moment she actually forgot<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">where she was and what she was
doing. She saw flashes of blue and then green,<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">and it seemed as if somehow she was
outdoors. Not playing basketball but simply<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">standing and waiting. The blue was
pieces of sky and the family was on summer<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">vacation and her father had taken
them to a hot grassy field where something<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">terrible had happened” (20).<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif"><span> </span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">This is the peak of her glory and
the start of her decline. It sets up Holly as an athlete has-been, a<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">common trope in sports literature, but
it is fresh in the context of her trying to find her way—it<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">adds to the drama. As Virignia
Woolf wrote, sport was the structure that gave American writers<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">substance, especially Ring
Lardner’s novel <i>You Know Me Al </i>(Woolf 103). <span> </span><i>In Don’t Look At Me</i>,<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">the reader is rooting for Holly to
find a new center, something that can replace basketball,<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">something that can give her life
structure. Her brain is still wired to play basketball and this<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">affects how she approaches
academia.<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif"><span> </span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">It’s hard enough for female athletes
to carve out a place in the world. The drama is<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">compounded for Holly because she is
a former female athlete who must find new structure for<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">her life. In the words of Susan
Bandy, the female athlete is cast “upon a stormy sea in a sailboat<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">without a compass, map, or
companion” while the male athlete navigates the world of sports as if<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">in a “motorboat down an
often-traveled river with his friends; the banks of the river where the<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">cheering audience stands clearly
mark his passage to a familiar and comfortable place” (Bandy<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">84). Holly’s life preserver was
falling in love with Dickinson’s poetry in an English class and<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">making the discovery in the
archives, which would have never happened had she not gone to<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">college on a sports scholarship. In
Holly’s journey, sport brought her to literature. It’s with the<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">merging of the two worlds that
Holly comes into her own confidence and establishes herself as a<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">serious contender in the cutthroat
competition of the MLA conference. She uses the<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">competitiveness she learned in
basketball to throw down at the conference and the grace she<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">learned from Emily Dickinson to
make the delivery of her throwdown palatable.<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">Tender subjects such as cancel
culture, harassment, and fetish are addressed in this novel<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">with a delicate recklessness that
represents the clashing of two ideals: the first is the need to be<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">politically correct with a surface
level sense of morality; the second is the need to see the<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">humanity in each individual, which
is a deep-rooted sense of morality that transcends the passing<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">of philosophical trend cycles.
Holdefer writes from the interior of the characters, even the<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">problematic ones, which gives them
shape as three-dimensional, somewhat redeemable<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">characters, despite their flaws.<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif"><span> </span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">Readers with an appreciation for
sport, a good comeback story, and a coming-of-age<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">narrative will find comfort in this
novel. Those who also enjoy historical fiction and poetry will<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">appreciate the pages of fictionalized
letter correspondence between Dickinson and the Irish<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">soldier. Anyone ranging from having
a healthy relationship with academia to completely<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">loathing it will find truth and
humor in Holly’s journey. She is the female hero that both subverts<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">and triumphs over the expectations
set for her in the academic sphere as well as society at large.<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif"><span> </span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">Works Cited<span></span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif"><span> </span></p>

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 8pt 0.5in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">Bandy, Susan J. “The Female Athlete
as Protagonist: From Cynisca to Butcher.” Aethlon, vol.<span></span></p>

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</div><div><div><div dir="ltr" class="gmail_signature" data-smartmail="gmail_signature">Remember to smell the roses as you recumber past<br><br>Duncan R. Jamieson, Ph. D.<br>Professor of History<br>Book Review Editor<br><i>AETHLON: The Journal of Sport Literature</i><br>Ashland University<br>Ashland, OH  44805<br>USA<br></div></div></div></div>